People like stuff. Stuff makes us feel good. Collecting it may seem to fill a void and give us a temporary high. Or so we think. But it’s not the actual things that fill us up. It’s the idea of them. We tell ourselves that we will feel more successful if we buy an expensive new handbag or that we need the sweater in every color when we will really only ever wear the black one. The truth is, the process of acquiring can distract us from dealing with the real emotions of life so purging and decluttering can seem scary. “What if I get rid of something that I will actually end up needing?!?” This could happen but if it does, you have permission to go and buy another. And you will feel good about it because you will actually need it.
By getting rid of the things that no longer serve you, you have more space, time and attention to focus on the things that do. The possessions you do keep will serve a purpose in your life and bring you joy when you look at them. Because there are fewer of them, you will appreciate them so much more. And as a result, you’ll feel lighter, more intentional and more satisfied in the end.
If you are planning to downsize, purging and decluttering are essential first steps. You simply can’t reduce your space by half and bring all of the same stuff along. Purging and decluttering are not to be confused with organizing which is simply finding a proper, logical home for what you have. Purging and downsizing mean moving things OUT of your life by donating, throwing out or selling things. For most people, this process involves some emotional work up front that will pay off BIG in the end. Let me walk you through the steps.
- Prepare yourself emotionally. Know going into a decluttering event that you will be getting rid of things but they will be things that you no longer need, use or that no longer make you happy. It’s not scary but some people need some time to process this. But there is a very happy ending here…when you are done, you will feel lighter and have a whole new appreciation for the things you do Trust me on this one, it’s not things that make you happy. I once did a closet declutter with a client and we pulled out bags of clothes and shoes to donate. And as soon as I left, she freaked out and PUT IT ALL BACK. She didn’t do the emotional work up front and she wasn’t ready to let go of the things that she no longer needed. She was relying on things to make her happy. A few months later, when she was emotionally ready to purge, she had to start the process all over again.
- Remove everything from the space. And sort by category. If you’re working on your closet, group short sleeve tops together, jeans together, coats together, etc. If you don’t have room to pull everything out at once then work on it category by category. Pull an entire category out at once. Don’t miss anything. If you have some coats in the hall closet and you’re working on outerwear then be sure to grab those too.
- Hold each item and see how it makes you feel. Marie Kondo has the very best filter for this. She says that you should hold each item, pick it up in your hands, each and every piece, and ask yourself “does this make me happy?” Really listen to your gut. Perhaps it’s an ill-fitting sweater that you never plan to wear again but it brings you actual joy in your heart because you wore it on your first date with your spouse; then go ahead, keep it. Maybe you’re holding a black sweater that you wear twice a week but don’t really like it at all or feel good in it. Then that goes in the donate pile and you can add to your shopping list “black sweater that makes me feel good”. It’s super easy and quick once you get the hang of it.
- Don’t declutter with the end space in mind. Declutter based on what you need, use or makes you happy. Once you’ve got your items finalized, then adjust your space accordingly. Perhaps you will need to adjust your closet space allocation to accommodate your fishing shirt collection that you have just realized brings your immense joy. It will take up half your closet. That’s okay because you got rid of over half of the blazers that you no longer wear now that you’re retired. Had you purged based on how much space you had previously allotted to each category you wouldn’t have seen that you actually need to shift your space.
- Put it back in a logical order based on how you use it. Put things you wear or use on a regular basis near the front and the things you don’t use as often near the back. Maintain items in the categories you sorted and group in subcategories by like item, color, sleeve length or by season. When in doubt, I ask myself, “under what circumstance would I choose to use this?” For example, I group all of my coats together so that when I’m dressed to go out on a cold day and need a coat, I have just one place to look. Perhaps it’s workout bottoms. You would probably ask yourself, “It’s hot today and I’m going to play tennis, which shorts should I wear?” Or, “I need a wooden spoon to stir this soup, which wooden spoon should I choose?” You want all like items together to make selecting the right item easy.
This process can be a lot of work if you have accumulated a lot of things over the years. Break it down into manageable chunks. It can also be helpful to find a friend or a small business, like New Thresholds, to help support you in the process. But at the end of the day, the decision on whether or not something makes you happy is up to you.